Got burning advice questions about boys, friends, school and more? Blog Girl is here for you! Every week, we take questions from YOU, our lovely readers, and choose questions at random to answer right here. If you need advice about anything, please leave your questions in the comments below. Let’s get to this week’s questions!
alaina wrote, “Dear blog girl, Im almost 15 and i got a boyfriend. Weve been dating for almost 8 months and he still has yet to tell his parents were dating. Teres a cat ch, well 2. 1: we live an hour and 45 minutes apart…and 2: his mom is sooooo strict and very protective. I tried getting him to tell his parents but he wont exactly listen. He means the world to me. WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!?!?!?!”
Hey alaina! Long distance, as well as overprotective parents, can be hard to deal with in a relationship. Your boyfriend is probably nervous what his parents will think about you – which means that he really likes you! If that’s the case, let him take his time in telling his mom. After all, he knows his parents better than you do! He probably knows exactly the right time to break the news so that they don’t freak out. When he’s ready to tell, he will. In the meantime, just keep planning fun hangouts and remember: you’re dating your boyfriend – not his parents!
Girlygirl1213 wrote, “Dear Blog Girl, Some girls from my cheer team were talking behind my back about how I shouldn’t have made the team this year. It made me really upset! Now, i’m trying out for high school cheerleading next week, but I don’t know if I should because of their remarks. It really discouraged me. Please help! Thanks.”
Hi Girlygirl1213! Definitely do not listen to the girls’ remarks. You made the team for a reason! Somebody (and most likely somebody more important than those girls) thought YOU were good enough for the team – which means you rightfully earned that spot. To stop the mean comments, all you have to do is show the girls how good you can be. When they see you at your best (or maybe even hear the coach praising you one day), they’ll have nothing left to criticize. If you still feel uneasy about things, you can privately ask them why they think you shouldn’t have made the team. Ask for their advice about what you could work on to improve. They might be so surprised at your dedication that they’ll have to respect you!
Preston wrote, “Dear Blog Girl, I have a really bad habit of chewing on my pens in class and I thought nobody noticed but yesterday my crush asked if he could borrow my pen, and when I lent it to him he got really grossed out and noticed the chew marks! OMG I was so embarrased and I don’t think he will ever like me now! I really want to get out of the habit but its hard! Help me!”
Hey Preston! No worries, everyone has a bad habit that we want to break. Your crush probably does too! Next time he asks to borrow a pen, you can laugh it off and say, “Sure, but just a warning: I bite my pens!” The more embarrassed you seem to be, the more embarrassed he’ll feel for noticing. So don’t be! It’s doubtful that he was embarrassed because you bite your pens – and he’ll probably forget in a couple of days. But if you’re dedicated to breaking this habit, you can try tricks like bringing gum to munch on instead, or putting vinegar on the backs of your pens so you won’t be tempted to bite them. Whatever works for you!
Lydia wrote, “Dear Blog Girl, I really love all your advice that you give to others… I’ve been reading your column for a while and now it’s my turn to write in for help. I really want to join the hip-hop dance club in my school but my dad doesn’t allow me to since I go to a mixed school with boys. My Mom would probably agree with him. I’m an adventurer and I love to try out new stuff that I put my heart and soul into. She gets annoyed by that as I try out new things immediately when I have the time and I don’t focus on the other old interests that I’m been doing currently. But that doesn’t mean that I would really give up my old interests, isn’t it? Okay, sometimes, I could agree with what my Mom said…. And my Dad said that I could join the dance club if I was in a girls school and then I knew his reason – He did not want me to have a boy as a hip-hop dance partner! Well, I think they don’t trust me enough to allow me to join this dance club…. its not like i would do anything rash when i join this dance club… But I really love dancing, and my parents know that I do too, (I’ve actually learnt a few tutorials from YouTube) and I wish to join the hip-hop dance club….! Please tell me what to do in a situation like this…! I’ll be sooooo grateful to you in future…:)”
Hi Lydia! It’s really awesome that you’ve found something that you love doing a lot. If you know you will really dedicate effort into the dance team, you can probably win your mom over with a serious discussion. Let her know you’re serious by calendaring your different activities from day to day. Show her that you’ve planned ahead and you’re going to split your time evenly between all your interests. You can also prioritize; tell her, “I love dance more than piano, but less than art class – so I’ll spend two hours on dance for every one on piano and three in art.” As for your dad, try explaining to him that nothing will happen if you have a male partner. You can tell him that you’ll dance solos whenever you can, or tell him that dancing is like a job and dancing with a guy is purely professional. He’d be super impressed with your understanding! If nothing works, maybe search for an all-girls hip-hop team in your community. You may love it just as much!
IHeart1D wrote, “Dear Blog Girl, I really like this boy at my school and I mean REALLY like him. He’s cool, smart, and funny. The only problem is that I have 2 best friends that I’m always around and we always hang out with each other and they both like him too! But they don’t know that I like him and it would just be weird. I have a disadvantage though because my one friend is with him all school day long but math and I’m only with him at P.E. And my other friend is with us at P.E. too and she has an entire hour with him everyday after school. They always talk about him and in my head I’m all like, ” I know he’s so cute!” But on the outside I’m like “Yep…” But it would be weird if only one of us got to be with him because we are really good friends. Like, I had a birthday party with my 2 girl friends, but we ended up going to pick him up too and had like the best night ever! And that was the one time I didn’t feel like the 4th wheel around them. I don’t know what to do at all! Please help!”
Hi IHeart1D! Sounds like you guys are all really good friends… maybe so much that you are all better as friends – at least for now? Maybe you don’t feel like the 4th wheel around them because you guys have the best chemistry when you’re all together! Try hanging out together more often and see if you enjoy his presence more when you’re all just friends, or more during P.E. when it’s just you two alone. Don’t back down, but don’t push your other girl friends aside. Let things work itself out for a while. If the guy ends up liking one of you three as more than just friends – let him make the final decision!